Dena Does A Documentary

Dena Does a Documentary

In January, I decided that I needed a new adventures for myself, and along came the opportunity to participate in a documentary. I was browsing the people that had visited my profile page on one of the online dating sites, and I saw that a female was looking at my page. So, I decided to send her a friendly letter telling her that I saw her checking out the competition, and I preceded to tell her that I don't swing that way. She responded by telling that she was directing a documentary about a black guy who was a skeptic to online dating. She said that she was going around the country to interview single women, and would be asking them 'why they thought they were a good catch?' Of course, I was interested, I live for stuff like that.

It was a bitterly cold Saturday in Chicago, and I'd just completed running by the lake, and had a first date scheduled for later in the evening. I like to overbook myself in order to feel like I'm living it up. I got to the set, and there were about 7 women already there. All were moderate to highly attractive black 30 somethings to early 40 somethings. Me being the highly attractive one. Wink wink kidding. No I'm not. Needless to say, they were all getting more action than me from what I discovered from their interviews.

The first woman took the hot seat. The director started asking questions. The first was: How old are you? The second was, what's your occupation? The third was why are you single? Now, I've been asked that a million times, and never really answered it, because it was always asked in jest. So instantly, my wheels started spinning, because, oh no what will I say? Will I have a good answer when she finally gets to me? Will I clam up? Will I show my big personality? What, what, what? So there was some technical difficulty, and the lady in the hot seat began asking all of us waiting to be interviewed questions to loosen herself up. So after about 20 minutes they started rolling again. Another question, was the ever so popular, do you have a list, and what's on it? So after about 4 women going before me, I realized that I would either have to liven this thing up and be silly or share my sob story. I chose what was behind door #1, SILLY. Why did I choose silly you ask? Because, I'm Silly, duh, winning. No, I chose not to share the story that I've been sharing so freely for years now. That's the story of boys don't like me wah wah, (which I shared 2 blogs ago, go figure). That's not what I wanted to continue to put in the Universe, and especially not for my film debut.

A lady before me was extremely honest, and sad to me. She really opened up, as was vulnerable on camera. In fact, what she said really stuck with me. She said, she knew she wasn't the prettiest woman, she didn't cook, loved to shop, and wasn't the most financially savvy person, but she was a good person. She felt that she missed the first wave for finding a potential mate, and hopefully she'll get the second round of divorcees. SO SAD, but was it true? I mean it never fails, that the attractive guy that I may spot in Whole Paycheck always has on a wedding ring, and is being drug around by some seemingly controlling woman. The one guy that you might find interesting is taken by some no good, dumb slutty, non-cooking, bad-housekeeoing, bitch. He then realizes about 4 years into their marriage that she's a no good, dumb slutty, non-cooking, bad-housekeeping, bitch. They then get divorced, and he's now off the idea of ever settling down. So was there some truth to what this girl was saying? A lot of the consensus was also that these ladies had been focused on their careers. You know I hear that all the time. However, that was'nt the case for me, and I've had a pretty involved career path, but I never once thought it consumed me to the point that I couldn't have a relationship. Relationships just never presented themselves while I was knee deep into working. Trust me, I'm great with time management and multi-tasking. So were these women just using their careers as an excuse? To be honest, I say FUCK A CAREER. It's SOOOOOOOOO Overrated! I'd rather be a mother with an agenda (i.e. owning a boutique and doing charity work, traveling to exotic lands). I know that's not politically correct to say or even attractive to these "NEW PROFESSIONAL, PUSSY ASS MEN today who don't want to carry the financial responsibility of the household/family. They want an "equal partnership." So, should they lose their job, they know that their wife, who already carry 90% of the load, will pick up yet another chore of being the bread winner of the family.

As the interviews continued, the question of the list came up, and hands down everybody said that they wanted someone with good character, but I think without wanting to feel shallow, they shyed away from the physical qualities that they desired. Some did say they wanted someone 6 feet or taller. One lady who was 5 feet and divorced said that. I'm thinking lady, from now on you can only date 5 foot 8 or shorter, you had your shot.

PEOPLE WAKE UP! No matter what Steve Harvey says, it's not ridiculous to have a criteria for who you want in a mate. Had he had one, he probably wouldn't be on wife number 50. I do agree that you should be able to mirror your list, and not expect this dream guy to be everything that you are not. Let's just say for instance, my list reflects, a list where we would compliment each other, and challenge each other to be the best that we can possibly be with a few physical chemistry traits to boot. Is that so wrong? All in all like my good platonic male friend always says, "You just need to find someone that will put up with your shit."